Stacey's Blog

When I was going through that puberty thing a few months after the Sylmar Earthquake shook things up in the San Fernando Valley, there were some noticeable changes that went along with my pre-teen mood swings. One of the most unpleasant moments is when the migraine headaches made an appearance. I found out later that migraines can be a result of the hormonal upheaval women go through during significant live-changing periods. My pubescent migraines were so bad that my mother found a headache doctor who gave me a pill that made the debilitating brain-throbbers subside. His name was Dr. Kudrow and years later his daughter (who was supposed to follow in his footsteps) got cast in a television show called, “Friends” and never made it to med school. I wonder if she ever got migraines when she went through puberty.

Another aspect of hormone-of-the-day episodes that swing in and out of the lives of women is the lack of sleep. I remember what it was like being 12, 13 and 14 and I remember that there were many nights I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I would tip-toe down to our den, slide quietly onto the brown, leather couch, turn on the television and watch, “Movies Till Dawn” on KTLA Channel 5. There on the couch I would watch Godzilla tangle with Monthra or King Kong and I could always count on “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” being part of the lineup at least once every two weeks. He would carry a fainting lady into the water and some dude would try to rescue her.

My favorite was the “Blob” with Steve McQueen. I never got tired of watching the mound of moving Silly Putty push through the little windows inside the movie theater. Up until recently it had been years since I saw that movie and several nights ago I was treated to another late night viewing of “The Blob” with Steve McQueen. The reason I was up at three in the morning?  You guessed it. Hormones.

I now find myself in what I hope is the last episode of hormonal fluctuation. One difference is that back when I was 13 I don’t remember having any hot flashes but I sure do remember my inability to have a good night’s sleep. I’m trying to see the positive side of being up a few hours before the sun. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to be at work a few mornings a week by 6:30 am but I’m trying to take it all in stride.

A nice thing about waking up at three in the morning again is that I have way more movie choices and I can work on my computer. During my morning KMMT slot I read a live commercial for Suddenlink and what I say is really true. We have all the movie channels and HD stuff so instead of lying in a dark room looking at the ceiling hoping my tossing and turning doesn’t wake up my husband, I dress in layers and go upstairs. I turn on the television, put the volume on “low” and flip through all the movie channels. I was absolutely delighted when “The Blob” was on during an Encore presentation. It was like the good old days. I tip-toed into the kitchen, made myself a bowl of cereal, and settled in to watch Steve McQueen save the day, again. For those of you who have never watched, “The Blob,” here’s a reminder of the plot taken from a blurb on the IMDB website:

“After teenagers Steve Andrews (Steve McQueen) and his girlfriend Jane Martin (Anita Corset) see a meteorite crash nearby, they set off to investigate. They come across an old man who seems to have some type of gelatinous matters stuck to his hand. They take him to Dr. Halen who isn’t sure what the substance is but Steve becomes convinced it’s a monster of some sort after both the old man and the doctor vanish. As the creature consumes more and more people, it grows larger and larger. Steve’s biggest problem is that he can’t get anyone to believe him and continually faces skeptical policeman and angry parents. The creature finally reaches a size that it cannot be missed and everyone wonders how they will possibly stop it.”

If my sleep pattern keeps up at this rate, I’m sure I’ll have to find some other way to amuse myself at three in the morning because I will eventually have watched every movie ever made. Maybe I will form “The Hash brown Club” so all of us non-sleepers can drive down to Denny’s for a plate of hash browns and watch the sun come up over the Whites. Or maybe I’ll just see if Ambien really does work.

It was a little over a week ago. I was walking down the cereal aisle in our local grocery store, wondering when the last time was that I had a bowl of Trix mixed with Captain Crunch and Frosted Flakes. These days, if what I ingest doesn’t somehow prove to be healthy for my insides, (especially if it is loaded with lots of sugar), I try to avoid it. I was remembering what Trix tasted like – the orange oranges, the green greens, the red reds and the yellow yellows – and I was really craving that taste but then the words of a parent took me out of my “have-to-have-sweets” craving.

There was a parent and a child coming down the aisle as I was contemplating my sugary cereal. The parent (I won’t divulge the gender) hissed to the child who was walking beside the cart, “Are you stupid or something? Don’t you remember what I told you in the car?  You can’t have any candy today or the next day so quit *insert bad word here* asking me! How many times have I told you that we can’t afford anything extra?!”

The kid must have been around six or seven. Not only did the words of the parent shock me but the look on the kids’ face was of utter shame. That was one of those occasions where I really wanted to let the parent have it but it would have probably made things worse for the kid. It was obvious that the parent was having a bad day but why take it out on the kid?  I didn’t recognize the parent and hope I never see the parent again because if I do, I might have to say something.

The age-old idiom, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me,” is part of an English language children’s rhyme. According to Wikipedia, “It persuades the child victim of name-calling to ignore the taunt, to refrain from physical retaliation, and to remain calm and good-natured. The phrase is found at least as early as 1872, where it is presented as advice in Tappy’s Chicks: and Other Links Between Nature and Human Nature, by Mrs. George Cupples. This sentiment is reflected in the common law of civil assault, which holds that mere name-calling does not give rise to a cause of action, while putting someone in fear of physical violence does.”

I beg to differ. Calling anyone names is hurtful and calling children names is especially hurtful. A victim of abusive name-calling is just that; a victim. Verbal abuse can do just as much damage as physical abuse to a person and last the victim a lifetime. The onslaught of profanities and false accusations can take both a physical and mental toll and there is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior.

The topic on my Exhausted Parent Network Radio Show last week was on “Toxic Friendships” and one of my guests said, “Hurt people, hurt.” If someone is having a terrible day or hasn’t had the easiest life, it’s not uncommon for them lash out at those close to them but that doesn’t mean that lashing out at the people who are closest to you is acceptable behavior.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is coming to a close and according to Wild Iris, domestic abuse has risen almost 60 percent since the economy took a nose dive. Being under the black cloud of financial pressure is most certainly stressful but there are other ways of letting off steam rather than lashing out at family members…especially the children.

I don’t know the reason why that particular parent was lashing out at their six year old that day but whatever the reason, there was no excuse for calling the kid “stupid” for not remembering that candy was not on the grocery list because of family money problems, which I’m sure the kid has nothing to do with.  If the parent who I witnessed calling their kid “stupid” that day happens to be reading this column? Call IMACA and find out about their parenting classes or go to your local book store and buy a few books on how to parent a child. I’m guessing that how you displayed your parenting skills in the grocery store that day will not be listed anywhere in any of those books.