I’ve been dreading this time of year for months. Why? Because I don’t like to wear bathing suits! Not that a summer full of sunshine should indicate that I have to wear a bathing suit but it is warm and I do like to swim. I’m not so keen anymore on laying out under the sun unless there is an umbrella separating me from the rays and I’ve never been a swimsuit prancer but still…
I’ve taken to doing laps in the indoor pool at the local sports club and I always bring one of my big towels from home. No offense but the little, white towels at the club are for size “4’s” and under. Even two of them don’t do the trick for a well-proportioned, zaftig, meno-pausing and “uncomfortable-in-anything-tight” body. Trust me on this one.
Even when I go on an island holiday it is usually to a place where swimsuits are optional because everybody looks the same and no one cares if the latest style of swimwear attire is being pranced around the beach. There are lots and lots of eye contact, lots and lots of laughter and all egos are thrown by the wayside. AND…I will most likely not run into anyone I know.
During the hurricane season of 2010 my husband and I planted ourselves on a “special” beach on the Caribbean of St. Martin/St. Marteen. There were not loads of tourists coming off of cruise ships and the looky-loos were at a minimum. Some people are actually afraid to be in the Caribbean during hurricane season. Go figure.
We met an amusing couple from Wisconsin. They were about 10 years older than us and had everything SPAM™. The bottom of their thongs (yes that is what we used to call sandals: “Thongs”) had the word SPAM® on them so you always knew where the Wisconsin couple was walking when they were on the sand. They had a SPAM® umbrella attached to their beach chair and their towels had the SPAM® logo written all over. They told us that they visited the SPAM® Museum located in Austin, Minnesota and spent a small fortune in the gift shop. Yes, there is really a SPAM® museum and their website says, “Few experiences in life are as meaningful and meaty-filled as those you’ll have at the magnificent SPAM® Museum. Referred to by some meat historians as The Guggenham, Porkopolis or M.O.M.A. (Museum Of Meat-Themed Awesomeness), the SPAM® Museum is home to the world’s most comprehensive collection of spiced pork artifacts.”
We aren’t going to be going to the Caribbean any time soon but the opportunity for wearing swimsuits is still going strong. What if I get invited to a pool party? What if my stepdaughters who are living with us this summer want me to go with them to lay poolside at Snowcreek or Whitmore or Keogh’s or just on our deck?
I conducted a small survey on my Facebook page asking how my woman-friends felt about wearing bathing suits. Most of them said they didn’t care anymore what they looked like in a bathing suit. A few said they just don’t go out in the sun and another woman actually claimed to not remember what a bathing suit looked like. Three or four said they dreaded shopping for a bathing suit and another claimed that she starved herself for the big bathing suit “unveiling’ and when the day came she was so weak from not eating that she almost passed out.
Bottom line is I’m still going to be doing my laps in the pool and will continue to bring my bigger-than-life towel to the club but it would be really great if they could have a 30 minute period of “bathing suit optional” time at the lap pool…say…between two and three in the morning?